Still Fighting It
By Matt | November 6, 2008
Ben Folds is one of my favourite musicians. His pithy and insightful observations never fail to colour my emotion. One song stands out for me at the moment “Still Fighting It”.
It is a song that he wrote for his son (he has twins, his son; Louis and his daughter; Grace). It’s a song about how hard it is to grow up and how he sorry that his son will have to go through the pain and disappointment that life often hands out.
He manages to sum up the early part of parenting in a few short lines:
“…how I picked you up and everything changed,
It was pain,
Sunny days and rain”
Being a parent and becoming a father isn’t easy. There are moments of overwhelming joy but also the hardships of adapting and coping with the dramatic change in life. It’s a constant learning curve. It’s beautiful and terrifying.
“Let me tell you what,
The years go on and,
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it,
And you’re so much like me,
I’m sorry”.
Check out the video. It’s mostly home-video style footage of him and his son. I can’t help but to get embarrassingly emotional over it.
It’s worth mentioning that when Ben Folds was in high school, his girlfriend had an abortion; the subject of his song: Brick.
Topics: Luke | 1 Comment »
In The Night Garden: More than meets the eye?
By admin | October 18, 2008
Luke has a love for “In the Night Garden”. He gets quite animated watching it and often talks back to the characters on sceen.
For those that don’t know, In The Night Garden is a BBC TV show aimed at babies and pre-school children. It features a mix of actors in costumes, puppetry and CG work. It’s designed to calm and relax children and to reinforce their relationship with their parents. The garden is bright and colourful; a literal interpretation of a nursery rhyme.
“We wanted to explore the difference between being asleep and being awake from a child’s point of view: the difference between closing your eyes and pretending to be asleep and closing your eyes and sleeping.” - Anne Wood
For many it is discarded as simple a “Teletubbies” knock off; a TV program adored by children, abhorred by adults and eventually adopted by weed smoking students. The resemblance is a little more than just superficial as In The Night Garden was created by Andrew Davenport and Anne Wood whose last collaboration was “Teletubbies”.
However, I think that if you dig a little deeper you’ll find a very special little program that transcends the simple themes and surreal landscape offered by the Teletubbies.
The protagonist, Iggle Piggle, a teddy bear like creature with a close attachment to his red blanket, is the only visitor to the Night Garden. The other characters are residents. Each episode starts with Iggle Piggle in a small wooden boat in the middle of an ocean at night.
“The night is black, and the starts are bright, and the sea is dark and deep
Someone i know is safe and snug and they’re drifting off to sleep.
Round and round, a little boat no bigger than your hand, out on the ocean far away from land.
Take the sail down, light the little light.
This is the Way to the garden of night”
This almost certainly alludes to the journey of a child from sleep into dream-land. From an adult perspective, being lost at sea in a small board is a terrifying image. A childs interpretation will be simpler but nonetheless powerful. Iggle Piggle is asked to “take the sail down and light the little light” a zen-like gesture. As Iggle Piggle drifts off to sleep, he arrives in the Night Garden to be met by his friends. This is comforting to the viewer. The episode ends with Iggle Piggle fast asleep in his boat which appears to reinforce the notion of a nursery rhyme read at bed time.
Iggle Piggle seems to act much like a toddler. He often falls on his back when surprised and is often comforted by the narrator. His attachment to his red blanket immediately brings to mind a toddler with a comfort blanket. He is the most easily identifiable character for a pre-school child as he mimics their actions and moods.
His closest friend is Upsy Daisy. A strong female character who often kisses and cuddles Iggle Piggle. A toddler will be unable to apply a “boyfriend / girlfriend” relationship to their dynamic but will find a similar warmth and love from their mother. She often brings him comfort and reassurance in episodes when he ends up in peril or is sad.
The narrator tends to take a fatherly role. He also brings reassurance to Iggle Piggle (Don’t worry, Iggle Piggle. There’s still time - repeated at the end of each episode when all the characters should be in bed). He also recaps the day’s adventure at the end of each episode when one of the characters requests a story before going to sleep. A role traditionally associated with a child’s father.
Other characters include Makka Pakka, a strange alien-like creature with a cleaning obsession. The Tombliboos are three little creatures “Unn”, “Ooh” and “Eee” (think how a child will say: one, two and three). They act as a unit and are rarely independent choosing to play and create music as a triplet. The Wottingers and Pontipines are small peg doll like creatures. Each family has eight children.
Many episodes probe the feelings associated with loss and and an eventual reunion. Often these episodes feature the occupants of the garden helping each other overcome a loss. For example, Iggle Piggle loses his blanket and Upsy Daisy helps him find it. Makka Pakka loses his “Og Pog” (his small bicycle-like contraption that holds his cleaning items and trumpet) and all the residents help him catch it. The Pontipine parents are always losing their children but find them easily with the aid of the mother’s binoculars. These simple vignettes seem to underline the importance of friendship and how working together can overcome hardships.
I am usually not a fan of children’s TV. I find that it can easily be condescending or trivial. But I have a fondness for In The Night Garden and the themes is represents. It our often cruel and uncertain world, it’s nice for to know that a simple TV program can offer a view on the world where love prevails and friendships bring comfort and security.
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Living in the modern world
By admin | August 16, 2008
For example, I was browsing a friends Facebook gallery album of her daughter and she’s really grown since I last saw her and I wanted to comment on how beautiful she is but I found it hard to find the words to say that so it wouldn’t be misconstrued as something completely different. I have the same problem on this forum too. I want to comment on all the beautiful pictures on here but I sometimes don’t because I never want anything to be taken the wrong way.
This also extends to how I act with children in public. For some reason, children find me hilarious and often stare and grin at me while I’m out and about. I usually grin back or pull a silly face but then I suddenly feel very self conscious that the parents might think my intentions are less than pure. It’s easier these days by pushing or carrying Luke but even still, there are times where I ignore a grinning child for fear of being mistaken for a pervert!
The same goes when taking pictures of Luke out in zoos, etc. I’m so careful to make sure no other children are in the picture so much so that I often miss a good picture. The other day on the beach there were two little girls playing near us and each time I went to take a picture, they ran into view playing with their ball.
It’s a fine line and it’s getting harder to walk it. It’s a sad fact that you’re guilty until proven innocent in most people’s eyes. Are we taking things too far? Are we punishing the majority for the actions of the minority or is it just being protective?
Topics: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
Seaside Epiphany
By admin | August 16, 2008
We were standing in Hemsby, on the Norfolk coast, a few miles from Great Yarmouth when I saw a glimpse of the future.
We were on a little day trip to the seaside with Luke when Debbie suggested taking a minor detour to Hemsby; the place for many happy childhood holidays for her and her family. I have heard many tales about Hemsby over the years. People falling into swimming pools fully clothed. Throwing up down the side of the car. The sand dunes and beaches. The Copacabana club and launderette.
I watched Debbie excitedly point out what she remembered and what had changed since her last visit over twenty years ago. The club remained as did the swimming pool. A short walk to the holiday chalets produced more memories and excitement from the past.
Watching her, I was struck by how amazing it was to imagine that twenty years previously she was in this very place sharing our footprints oblivious to her future. She had no idea that she would one day return holding her own child. This realization underlined the need for us to make memories with Luke. So that he may one day return to a place we’ve taken him with his children and tell them tales about the things he did there with his mum and dad.
It is sad to think that eventually we’ll be gone and nothing more than a random collection of memories in our children. But our actions will live on and will help shape their lives. Each day is important and even the most pedestrian of holiday resorts will be a rich source of happiness for one child and her eventual legacy.
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Beware the four month growth spurt
By Matt | July 27, 2008
Luke is currently in the middle of the dreaded four month growth spurt during the hottest part of the year. While he never was the greatest sleeper and always enjoyed a good scream (and boy, is it a scream) it got a whole lot worse over the past week or so.
He is incredibly unsettled. He was getting to the stage where he had a small nap at 11:30am and again at 3:00pm. He would then settle for the night around 9:00pm waking at around 12:00, 3:00 and 6:00 for feeds. The past few days have been a constant battle to even get him to sleep. He also doesn’t enjoy sleeping in his cot at the moment, so he’s either asleep on Debbie or laying between us in the bed. His sleep is short and fitful. He’s waking almost every hour for feeding or comfort. It makes for a very stressful time!
We’ve heard a lot of his scream over the past few days. Now, most parents with small babies don’t like to hear their child cry and we’re no exception. What is different though is that Luke’s screams could wake the dead and deafen the living. It’s the kind of scream that stops people in a supermarket so that they can turn and stare, gaping at the spectacle. A few even add choice comments like “Oh, he’s not happy is he?” and my personal favourite: “Oh, is he hungry?”. Without a hint of humour, we have both suffered short term ear damage after a prolonged session of screaming.
These “growth spurts” occur when babies go through rapid development either physically or mentally. To me, Luke has really grown over the past few weeks. Looking back through photos, it’s hard to believe he was ever the tiny baby we see in them.
We both hope that this phase passes quickly and normal service resumes! Who knows, we might even get a little sleep, again. Until the next one. Or he wants to wean. Or teething starts. Or separation anxiety starts…
So, new parents be warned. Gather your wits and stock up on sleep before your little darling turns into a little monster around the four month mark!
Of course, it’s not all screaming and sleep deprivation. Overall, Luke is a very happy baby that loves attention and loves to play. He squeals with delight when you blow raspberrys on his tummy and loves his neck to be ‘eaten’. This morning he had his arms wrapped tightly around my neck and was eating my face which had me in hysterics.
I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Topics: 3 - 6 Months | 1 Comment »